7/9/2007 11:00:36 PM
Where It Went Wrong…

It’s not a secret that I played for Winnipeg for a year or so, and also common knowledge that in my time there I never settled in and felt comfortable. I was traded to Hamilton for Chris Brazzell in 2005 after my play took a turn south. The organization felt that it was best for them cut their losses and try to get something in return for me no doubt before my value plummeted completely.
Going back to Canad Inns Stadium in Winnipeg each year since then certainly is an event for me, and this year will be no different. One would think that there is animosity on my part because they traded me away, or because the fans never warmed up to me, but that’s not the reason that the games in Winnipeg have significance to me… for me it’s all about struggle. I can honestly say that I don’t have any ill will towards Winnipeg as an organization, I certainly can’t blame the fans for wanting a better on field product during my tenure there so I’ve got no animosity there. Honestly, the way I was playing I would have traded me out of there too! I’ve got people on that team that I consider friends, and one that I have the utmost respect for whom I learned a great deal from so I’m grateful to have been there for the time that I was. That being said, when I get off of that plane the hair on the back of my neck will be standing up, I guarantee it.
The reason that game is significant each year to me regardless of what team I’m on and what the implications are in terms of the standings, is because that stadium symbolizes a time in my life when my best effort just wasn’t enough. I’d imagine if Edmonton played an exhibition in Green Bay it would be similar, but perhaps not because in Green Bay I played extremely well and didn’t make the team for reasons outside of my play. In Winnipeg, I did everything right in terms of my preparation but it just never materialized the way it should have as an on field product. That was a tough pill for me to swallow for a while, like trying to put together a massive puzzle and getting to the end only to find out that the last piece doesn’t fit. Now granted, we had all kinds of problems that year on offence. Literally, nobody had a year that they would be proud of but in spite of that, I always feel that my work ethic and doing things the right way over and over again will prevail ultimately. And in Winnipeg it just didn’t work out that way for me.
I’ve moved past that particular struggle for what it’s worth, but when you go through something like that it seems to alter you somewhat. Now I find that whenever I’m in that particular stadium I’m quite dialed in, I’m very focused, almost to the point of it being defensive. The same way you’d be if you were a soldier advancing across enemy lines. There’s a heightened sense of awareness involved because I absolutely know what to expect in that stadium, and there’s not a doubt in my mind what every person in the crowd is feeling when they see me play well…loathing. “Why couldn’t he play like that when he was here?!?” Honestly folks, I really don’t know. Perhaps I just wasn’t meant to shine in those colors, at that time, in that place. But I also know that without stopping over there, I would never have been able to get here. And there’s no place I’d rather be than where I’m at right now, playing slot back for the Edmonton Eskimos.
We are going into the most hostile of environments, to attempt to get two points that are needed in the worst way, against one of the best teams in the league. The tie that we played to in that great game in week one only makes the matchup more interesting in my opinion. Not to mention the potential Stegall touchdown record that is in play…this promises to be fun.
I’ve had visions of having a monster game on that field and winning the fans over in the past, but it was wearing Winnipeg colors. That vision never came to pass, so I have to wonder how I would react to having one on that field at their expense. I guess I’ll have to wait and see. How long I have to wait remains to be seen. ©

KP8